Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture

What more blissful experience does life offer than snuggling in bed with your warm and slumberous children? Heaven. Unless you intend to sleep, that is. They are programmed never to let that happen. They will spin. They will kick. And they will fail to give a shit where the head-end is. Our baby’s teething the hard way this week. She’s all dribble and tears and … Continue reading Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture

The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Babies are so Me Me Me. Our tiny human is only three weeks old and she’s already lording it like an East African dictator over the once-democratic Republic of Home. I accidentally told the health visitor on Thursday that I’d forgotten how much a newborn can ruin your life. I was hoping to say ‘rule your life’ obviously but my mouth had other ideas. I … Continue reading The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Get bossin’ if you want to stay sane

Hands up if you don’t hate men! Me neither. I really don’t hate them. I love them in fact. I like it that they take the piss, they’re hard to offend and they don’t do fake niceness. I slightly envy their friendships, camaraderie and ability to tell it to you straight. And I’ve never felt that blokes have it easy, that life gives me lemons … Continue reading Get bossin’ if you want to stay sane

Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…

Maya starts big school in September and I’m shitting it a bit. There’s nothing wrong with the place. It’s meant to be amazing and the parents love it. But nursery. My heart weighs heavy with grief just thinking about losing those amazing people. They’ve nurtured, encouraged and stretched my child since I first left her there with a leaky nose and old man’s hairline at … Continue reading Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…

Learning is fun (but it turns out I’m stupid)

I love learning stuff with Maya. We read and watch and look things up and experiment together. I’m reacquainting myself with some genuinely interesting topics. But all this revision’s been highlighting some pretty big gaps in my knowledge, some of which I’m not at all willing to alert her to. I was prepared to admit I’d never heard of a brinicle when I saw one on Octonauts. Same … Continue reading Learning is fun (but it turns out I’m stupid)

Radio silence and the power of lego

Hello again Back in October, I gave some friends and nursery mums the link to this blog. I was terrified because I am an enormous wimp. I’m not sure what dark and dreadful things I thought would come to pass if people I knew read my writing. But my fears were ridiculous. Nobody blanked me at preschool pickup or posted a dead mouse through the letterbox. My coat remained spit-free. I was … Continue reading Radio silence and the power of lego