Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture

What more blissful experience does life offer than snuggling in bed with your warm and slumberous children? Heaven. Unless you intend to sleep, that is. They are programmed never to let that happen. They will spin. They will kick. And they will fail to give a shit where the head-end is. Our baby’s teething the…… Continue reading Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture

The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Babies are so Me Me Me. Our tiny human is only three weeks old and she’s already lording it like an East African dictator over the once-democratic Republic of Home. I accidentally told the health visitor on Thursday that I’d forgotten how much a newborn can ruin your life. I was hoping to say ‘rule…… Continue reading The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Bun in the oven

Oh how rude of me. I don’t think I’ve told you our news. I do love pies but this bump is, in fact, a baby. After four miscarriages and as many chemical pregnancies, we have a bun that appears to be cooking. But after all that trying, this baby took a while to get used…… Continue reading Bun in the oven

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Categorized as Baby bizzle

Me time makes me nicer

Sometimes I love doing mum stuff. Playing with kinetic sand, facilitating the baking of misshapen biscuits, preparing healthy meals for Maya to ignore and watching my girl develop remarkable new skills and personality. It all feels nourishing, joyful and right. From this place of beauty I produce masterpieces at the drop of a hat: Creative stuff goes down: Fun…… Continue reading Me time makes me nicer

Is that what I sound like?

When I was 15, my drama teacher told us all to do an impression of someone else in the class so everyone could guess who it was. I know. What was she thinking? Anyway, I laughed along at the impersonations of some of the less cool and more ripe-for-the-ridiculing members of the group and then…… Continue reading Is that what I sound like?

Waiting while a toddler re-does stuff is like watching someone type with one finger

Shoes with buckles: do not intervene

That’s it! Your foot’s nearly in. Well done. Now if you just push down a bit and I grab the top of your welly. No, I know you don’t need any help. You’re a big girl now, aren’t you? But your heel’s a bit stuck. If I just pull it from th…No! What are you…… Continue reading Waiting while a toddler re-does stuff is like watching someone type with one finger

She makes me look like a murderer

I just asked Thesaurus for a word to describe the sound my daughter makes when she’s tantruming hard. Turns out they haven’t invented one. Screech is too mechanical, wail is too doleful and shriek is far too short-lived. This is the most blood-curdling scream I’ve ever heard. Shrill, grating and completely unrelenting. You would think she was having her toenails pulled out one…… Continue reading She makes me look like a murderer