What is a grown-up (and do I want to be one)?

Grown-ups in action

Grown-ups! They’re calm and responsible and always have a tissue to hand. They can smell a loose roof tile at 40 paces. Grown-ups! They learn from their mistakes and offer sage advice upon which they themselves would act. They know how to talk to the headteacher. These guys keep their shit together big time. No…… Continue reading What is a grown-up (and do I want to be one)?

Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture

What more blissful experience does life offer than snuggling in bed with your warm and slumberous children? Heaven. Unless you intend to sleep, that is. They are programmed never to let that happen. They will spin. They will kick. And they will fail to give a shit where the head-end is. Our baby’s teething the…… Continue reading Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture

The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Babies are so Me Me Me. Our tiny human is only three weeks old and she’s already lording it like an East African dictator over the once-democratic Republic of Home. I accidentally told the health visitor on Thursday that I’d forgotten how much a newborn can ruin your life. I was hoping to say ‘rule…… Continue reading The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…

Maya starts big school in September and I’m shitting it a bit. There’s nothing wrong with the place. It’s meant to be amazing and the parents love it. But nursery. My heart weighs heavy with grief just thinking about losing those amazing people. They’ve nurtured, encouraged and stretched my child since I first left her…… Continue reading Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…

Learning is fun (but it turns out I’m stupid)

I love learning stuff with Maya. We read and watch and look things up and experiment together. I’m reacquainting myself with some genuinely interesting topics. But all this revision’s been highlighting some pretty big gaps in my knowledge, some of which I’m not at all willing to alert her to. I was prepared to admit I’d never heard…… Continue reading Learning is fun (but it turns out I’m stupid)

Twenty things I lose it with because I can’t lose it with my child

Sometimes I do grown-up tantrums. Things get kicked and swiped and I do a little stamp dance. Nobody gets hurt. But still. I’m not proud. I guess at the root of it are significant issues: stress, lack of time for myself and stuff in my life that isn’t quite right at the moment. Like how work…… Continue reading Twenty things I lose it with because I can’t lose it with my child

You lovely undisgustable thing

Maya is hard to disgust. It’s another one I think she got from her mum. I am mildly disgusting myself and I guess she assumes I’m normal. My own disgust mechanism is a bit faulty. I’m not a big fan of blood and gore. I don’t like documentaries where chimps eat monkeys and even thinking about…… Continue reading You lovely undisgustable thing

Leading by shoddy example

This cool post by Jess at Wonderoak got me thinking about the things I’ve taught my own daughter without meaning to. Maya thinks and does all manner of stuff that I’m pretty sure she picked up from me when my guard was down (any time outside enthusiastic coffee hour). It’s textbook copycat business. Here is some of her wonky and…… Continue reading Leading by shoddy example

My daughter is a grubby little soap dodger (and I think she gets it from me)

Not for me, thanks

How often does a four year old need to wash? More often than my daughter, I’d imagine. Maya does not like getting clean. She used to look forward to baths. Showers were a real novelty for about a week. And then, all of a sudden, the love affair ended and Maya and hygiene went their separate ways. I realised…… Continue reading My daughter is a grubby little soap dodger (and I think she gets it from me)

I wear what my four year old tells me to

I never needed fashion advice until Maya came along and messed up my body. I knew what I liked and I wore it. Nothing made me lose respect for a man faster than seeing him wait patiently outside the changing rooms while his needy girlfriend tried on another ensemble for his nervous appraisal. Did he have nothing better to do? What…… Continue reading I wear what my four year old tells me to