The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Babies are so Me Me Me. Our tiny human is only three weeks old and she’s already lording it like an East African dictator over the once-democratic Republic of Home. I accidentally told the health visitor on Thursday that I’d forgotten how much a newborn can ruin your life. I was hoping to say ‘rule your life’ obviously but my mouth had other ideas. I … Continue reading The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn

Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…

Maya starts big school in September and I’m shitting it a bit. There’s nothing wrong with the place. It’s meant to be amazing and the parents love it. But nursery. My heart weighs heavy with grief just thinking about losing those amazing people. They’ve nurtured, encouraged and stretched my child since I first left her there with a leaky nose and old man’s hairline at … Continue reading Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…

Twenty things I lose it with because I can’t lose it with my child

Sometimes I do grown-up tantrums. Things get kicked and swiped and I do a little stamp dance. Nobody gets hurt. But still. I’m not proud. I guess at the root of it are significant issues: stress, lack of time for myself and stuff in my life that isn’t quite right at the moment. Like how work gets the best of me and Maya is left with … Continue reading Twenty things I lose it with because I can’t lose it with my child

Why didn’t you tell me I had a moustache?

This morning, the bathroom mirror informed me that I had a moustache. ‘Yeah, you’ve got a moustache, man. You’ve had it for ages,’ it said. Eeeew. I haven’t noticed people sneaking glances at my upper lip mid-chat. But there it was. They must’ve been wrestling their instincts to the ground: ‘Look at her moustache!’ ‘I’m not looking, you mean bastard.’ ‘You’re gonna look. You’re definitely gonna look.’ ‘Ggggggh. You can’t … Continue reading Why didn’t you tell me I had a moustache?