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12 small benefits to being over 40 if you want to be glass-half-full about it
Ageing gets a bad rap and that’s unfair because it has a handful of negligible upsides that it’s just about worth clinging onto… 1. Creative vision A few seconds after you turn 40, you are no longer able to see your face properly in the mirror without glasses. This has the beneficial effect of blurring…
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My daughter can’t spell. It’s challenged my cocky beliefs about what it means to be bright.
I used to tut internally at people who couldn’t spell. How could you not notice you’d written ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’? It was so bloody obvious. If a quick scan didn’t flag up the error, you must be a little bit thick. Then I had kids. And the older one couldn’t spell for toffee. My…
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Being a bit brave is making me braver
My daughter’s old school had a motto I love: Be kind, be brave, be happy. ‘Be happy’ feels a bit optimistic to me. I’m not sure serotonin manifests itself on demand. But I’d have a tenner on the fact that daily kindness and bravery will lead to a happier life. I’d like to feel happier…
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What is a grown-up (and do I want to be one)?
Grown-ups! They’re calm and responsible and always have a tissue to hand. They can smell a loose roof tile at 40 paces. Grown-ups! They learn from their mistakes and offer sage advice upon which they themselves would act. They know how to talk to the headteacher. These guys keep their shit together big time. No…
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Our kids are trying to break us with sleep torture
What more blissful experience does life offer than snuggling in bed with your warm and slumberous children? Heaven. Unless you intend to sleep, that is. They are programmed never to let that happen. They will spin. They will kick. And they will fail to give a shit where the head-end is. Our baby’s teething the…
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The twelve essential things you didn’t know but I did about life with a newborn
Babies are so Me Me Me. Our tiny human is only three weeks old and she’s already lording it like an East African dictator over the once-democratic Republic of Home. I accidentally told the health visitor on Thursday that I’d forgotten how much a newborn can ruin your life. I was hoping to say ‘rule…
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Get bossin’ if you want to stay sane
Hands up if you don’t hate men! Me neither. I really don’t hate them. I love them in fact. I like it that they take the piss, they’re hard to offend and they don’t do fake niceness. I slightly envy their friendships, camaraderie and ability to tell it to you straight. And I’ve never felt…
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Bun in the oven
Oh how rude of me. I don’t think I’ve told you our news. I do love pies but this bump is, in fact, a baby. After four miscarriages and as many chemical pregnancies, we have a bun that appears to be cooking. But after all that trying, this baby took a while to get used…
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Back off, big school. I want nursery forever…
Maya starts big school in September and I’m shitting it a bit. There’s nothing wrong with the place. It’s meant to be amazing and the parents love it. But nursery. My heart weighs heavy with grief just thinking about losing those amazing people. They’ve nurtured, encouraged and stretched my child since I first left her…
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Learning is fun (but it turns out I’m stupid)
I love learning stuff with Maya. We read and watch and look things up and experiment together. I’m reacquainting myself with some genuinely interesting topics. But all this revision’s been highlighting some pretty big gaps in my knowledge, some of which I’m not at all willing to alert her to. I was prepared to admit I’d never heard…